Have you saved a life, yet?

I still remember the first time I walked into the air-conditioned room where the annual blood donation drive was in progress, on my office premises in Bengaluru. A pamphlet in the cafeteria about the Blood donation drive had captured my attention, a couple of days before. Having ignored many such opportunities in the past, I was ready to overcome my inhibitions around donating blood and its possible consequences. The year was 2007, and I was relatively new at my workplace. I remember, no one had coaxed me into making this "bold move”, if you may call it that.

I must admit, I was nervous when I walked into the room, where I could see some medical interns going about their job, drawing blood from my co-workers. None of the donors seemed to be in any kind of distress or discomfort, even though they were being bled. That was a good sign, to begin with. I thought to myself, "It’s not that painful after all". When it was my turn, I gathered all my courage and consoled myself, "I’ll be fine". And 10 minutes later, I had conquered yet another fear. I remember some people saying that you feel weak, dizzy after donating blood. But nothing of that sort happened. I was absolutely feeling good. Sipping a glass of fresh fruit juice, after my first blood donation, I felt satisfied thinking that my donation will perhaps save a life. It probably did.

If you enjoyed your first ride on a scary roller coaster, you’re likely to do it again. When it comes to conquering your fears, it's always nice to have a good first experience because that encourages you to do it again. I have actually lost exact count of how many times I have voluntarily donated blood, but definitely more than 15 times since my first attempt. Since 2017, I have ensured that I donate blood at a blood bank nearby, every quarter, which translates to 4 units of blood donated every year. And every time, I walk out feeling good that my little gesture might save some lives in distress.

In my short journey, as a regular blood donor, I have encouraged some of my friends and co-workers to donate blood occasionally. While there have been a couple of people who have chosen to tread on my path, I've really found it difficult to convince many others. The inherent fear of a needle penetrating your vein and the thoughts of blood loss and resulting weakness and discomfort probably keeps many healthy people away from taking the leap. I feel donors who donate blood regularly, have a huge role to play to liberate such people from their inhibitions. Blood banks, hospitals, medical professionals, NGOs can also play a vital role in increasing awareness as well as encouraging more and more blood donations. While I believe that donating blood should be a matter of personal choice, hospitals could encourage regular donors by giving them incentives like a free basic annual check-up, etc.

On a recent visit to a popular blood bank in town for my regular blood donation along with a friend who is also a donor, the phlebotomist (medical professional who draws your blood) recognised us since we go there often. She said they're really having a shortage of blood for certain blood types and requested us to encourage our colleagues and friends to come over and donate blood.
Blood is one of those things that medical science hasn’t yet figured a way out to synthesise. Until that day, the only way a needy patient's life can be saved is if people like you and me go out and donate blood. Unfortunately, there is no alternative.

Sometimes, just a thought that the blood you donate today could save the life of a loved one tomorrow, may be motivation enough to make you do it. As I write this, my only hope is at least a few of my readers will give it a try, at least once. Like I said, if you feel good the first time, you will want to do it again and again.

Still having second thoughts? Read this: Benefits of donating blood


Image credit: istockphoto.com

Discovering the all-new Me 2.0

Happy New Year 2017!

It's that time of the year, when many of us are looking forward to a great year ahead. Contemplating about the year gone by, analysing our successes, the challenges we overcame, situations that we could not conquer, our good and bad decisions, etc. While some of us are still trying to beat the hangover from the New Year’s Eve party, and a few others have started to work on our new year resolutions. Personally, I do not indulge in making New Year resolutions, since my experience with them has not been great. But I believe that the start of a brand new year gives me an opportunity to work on becoming a better person than who I was, last year.

As a Son

This year, I would like to give my parents the gift of my time. Although we live in the same city, I feel I could have spent more quality time with my parents in the last few years. In 2017, I would want to spend more time with my parents, not just watching television reality shows together, but talking to them, taking them out shopping, to the movies, etc. I think, as children, even though we buy them expensive gifts from time to time, they continue to yearn for our attention, some quality time with us. And I would like to make it up to them during this year. Light up a few smiles on their faces.  

As a Husband

As my wife gets busier with her performance career, I'm sure she will need more of my support in terms of being there to manage things on the home front while she is jet-setting from one city to another, enthralling audiences with her artistic endeavours. While I don't enjoy the solitude during her absence from home, I think the least I can do to support her in her pursuits is to ensure that I go through those days (and nights) without whining or complaining much. And I will do my best to achieve that, this year. Well, in addition to being her content designer, her event planner, her account-keeper, her listening-pod and whatever else that she needs me to be.

As a Dad

Ever since our son filled up our lives, life has been such a fulfilling experience as parents. My pursuit of being the best Dad I can ever be has fuelled my life-goals as much as anything else has. As a father, every day is riddled with new challenges, new and difficult situations are thrown at me. Deep inside me, I want to improve my responses to situations involving my son, especially where I need to control my emotions and respond only once I have had the opportunity to analyse the situation. I'm sure it's not easy for him either, dealing with his Dad, who doesn't hide his affection for his "baby", but also someone who won't hesitate to act strict when it came to matters involving discipline and behaviour. Look forward to being a better Dad to my son in 2017, while he continues to become a better boy himself.  

At my workplace

Having completed 15 years in my IT career recently, it's a great time to reflect on what I've achieved in this short stint in the IT industry. While the journey has been very satisfying, especially the first half and a bit more, with a lot of good learning and growth opportunities, it's time to consolidate and grow in the limited opportunities that come your way at this stage of your career. While personally, you're looking to settle down in one place and not chasing opportunities wildly, I am sure this is bound to have an impact on your career growth and we need to accept this and be at peace with it. In 2017, I would like to come to peace with this reality, and try to derive professional satisfaction by contributing to the improvement of processes in my team and by adding value to my organisation.

As a friend

Although there is a feeling that we are so much more connected with our friends via the social media tools, I sometimes wonder if that is really true. Although we may be a part of several groups on WhatsApp, be it school-friends, college-friends, office-group, cousins-group, etc. most of them have just become platforms to share jokes, videos, fake-news, birthday & other festival wishes and other forwarded content. While some of the content shared on these groups may be useful at times, the groups have miserably failed to achieve the objective of truly connecting people, and we have ourselves to blame. As someone rightly said, "Technology and systems are only as good as their users". In 2017, I would like to try and connect with at least a few friends, and not just on WhatsApp or Facebook, but maybe try to call and speak with them, try to find out what they're up to. Maybe meet up with a few of them personally, if possible. I hope that my friends, who are reading this, will also think likewise, and help me achieve this objective. A little less time on WhatsApp and Facebook this year, for me!

As a responsible citizen

Being a regular blood donor, even though I did not meet my goal of donating blood 4 times every year in 2016 (only did it twice), 2017 has started on a good note with my first donation happening in the first week of the year. I would definitely like to meet that goal of 4 times this year. The whole experience of donating blood is an extremely satisfying one, especially when you know that this act of yours is capable of saving someone's life. I hope that I am able to inspire at least a few of my friends to follow suit this year.

A number of improvements have happened in our country related to digitisation and e-governance in the last couple of years. As responsible citizens who are computer-literate, I think we should try and help spread the knowledge to someone who is hesitant in using technology. Who better to start with, than your loved ones; your parents, uncles and aunts, if they're one of them.

I hope the New Year brings out the best in all of us, while challenging us to perform better than we did in past years. As we head into the New Year, all I have is hope, some wishes and aspirations that we make this world a better place.

The Power of Zero!

Someone gifted me a printed T-shirt recently, one of those with a funny quote. It had a big Zero printed on it enclosing the quote “India's greatest contribution to the world of mathematics”. Now that's something we Indians are all proud of, aren't we? Well, to make things a bit funny, the print further said “We always knew we were good for Nothing!”. I laughed at the humor when I first saw the T-shirt and thanked the person who gifted it to me. “It is bound to generate a few smiles when I wear it”, I thought. And it did, actually, when I wore it to work one of these Fridays.

When I got home that day, I started thinking about why Zero was considered one of the greatest things to have happened to mathematics. What makes it more special when compared to any of the other numbers? As the proverbial wisdom dawned upon me, I thought if we were to represent numbers in the Roman system I bet we would not have progressed this far scientifically or otherwise. Did you know that a number only as big as 8,888 is represented as MMMMMMMMDCCCLXXXVIII in the Roman system; you probably cannot imagine how one would represent the millions, billions and the gazillions? Don't think we would have even thought about numbers that big, to be honest, much like the Romans of the medieval times. We therefore knew that we needed a system that could depict large numbers with ease and we could definitely do with something a little less cumbersome, for sure! Thus, a number system that only used 10 digits (0-9) became popularly accepted since it could practically represent any finite number. Now, that was nothing short of a miracle, especially in a world that was accustomed to the Roman system or an equally inefficient way of counting!

Sorry, I digressed a little bit with all that math-talk. Well, can't help it sometimes, when my weakness for numbers and anything slightly math-like, takes over. Coming back to Zero, my first impression about this round little guy is that it's just another number. Zero actually represents “Nothing” or emptiness. Depressing, isn't it?

I remember when we were young, we would feel so bad if someone called us a “zero” - it was like something that was opposite in meaning to “hero”. We used to feel sad when we got out for a zero in a cricket match, let alone the humiliation the little boy had to face in his class when he scored a zero in a test that he hadn't studied for. Zero was never something that was celebrated, not something that anyone chased or craved for, at least not in those days. 

 

Cut to the early 21st century, I started working for an Indian software major. As a programmer, I was always reminded by my boss that we had to strive for a “zero-defect” project delivery. They said this “zero-defect” thing was apparently related to Six Sigma or something of that sort that only the best in the industry were capable of achieving. Well, that was just the right trigger for an adrenaline rush in a newbie programmer like me, in those days. And there I was, chasing a “zero” perhaps for the first time in my life. And then we had our occasional tryst with the zero-calorie diet regimes that some of our young female (and some male) friends were trying out; the Size-Zero obsession that the youth were getting hooked on to, trying to emulate some of the Bollywood starlets; the zero down-payment motorbike that was on my wishlist, while waiting for my next pay-hike... Zero was not associated with depression any more; it was something we were now chasing, quite intently.

So what really changed? Zero still represented “nothing”. Was it just our perspective that had been transformed over the years? And there we were, with our new-found love for Zero.

As silly as it may sound, when a number actually represents emptiness, we are easily convinced that it depicts something that's devoid of any power or strength. 

So what is the Power of Zero?

On its own, Zero is nothing but “nothing”, something seemingly insignificant. However, when a zero tags along with another small number, it boosts the value of the small number by ten times. For example, the number “1”, on its own, is a pretty insignificant number too; only slightly larger than zero. To appreciate the power of zero, and the value that it brings forth, you need to put them together, thus creating “10”.

Bingo! “1” just grew 10 times bigger, all credit to “nothing” (I mean, zero!). Well, you might say zero cannot team up with another zero and increase its value. Actually, this team adds up to “nothing”! Wait a minute...what happens when the two zeros combine and team up with a small number like “1”. You guessed it. The value of the little number jumps a hundred times. You can only imagine what wonders that a few more zeros, getting together, can do. Reminds me of the 'Minions'. For those who haven't heard about the minions (from the Despicable Me movie franchise), they're small insignificant imaginary characters themselves, work wonders as a team when directed by their boss.

Stretching this thought a wee bit more, I started thinking whether some of us are like the 'zero'. We all have big dreams and aspire to achieve some greatness and unparalleled success in our lifetimes by making a difference to the world we live in. Everyday, we want to renounce our mundane lives, throw caution to the wind, and take the plunge. So many of us so badly want to quit our ever-so-boring jobs, where we're slogging our butts off to sponsor our investors' vacations. 

When will we try our hand at doing something else; something that brings us the satisfaction? Something that makes us feel that the work we do is making a difference to this world in a good way. How many of us will actually muster up the courage to take up the challenge and risk junking our existing careers to leave the comfort zone, to try something new and exciting? However exciting the new opportunities may be, it's really hard to let go of something that's easy, risk-free and does not involve a lot of struggle. “I have toiled really hard to reach here in my career, and I can't just throw it all away” - is a common excuse most of us have. Sadly, I consider myself, one of those unfortunate people. Are you one of them, too? 

I feel like a 'ZERO' already!

Don't fret. Remember the power of 'zero'. All we need to find is 'The One'. The '1' who needs us, and our skills to become the '10'. I found my '1' in my spouse. She is an upcoming dancer who was also trying her hand at becoming an event organizer in early 2012. Something she had big dreams about, but was not sure what it takes to be successful at the new venture. Things began slowly, with just one event. I still remember, we did pretty much everything ourselves, to make the first event happen. She did all the networking, right from scouting for the artistes, to finding and convincing the sponsors, albeit just a couple of them. We found out how difficult it was, for a newly founded organization, to find takers. This was our first encounter with what start-ups face, I suppose.

I took up all the back-office duties, right from putting together the content for our invites, brochures, banner design, planning and arranging the logistics, and running the errands on the day of the event. I had never done most of these things in my life before. Now when I think about it, I believe when life throws you at the deep end, all you can do is either swim or sink. Guess, I learnt to swim.

I still remember driving around town to find things that we needed for the event, which we had neither planned nor were prepared for. All our inexperience in the area of event organizing was on full-display that evening. However, the audience was very forgiving, and congratulated us on a successful event and wished us many more to come. It was a valuable lesson for both of us, but every event that we've organized after that have been much easier and less stressful, thanks to some friends who we've made, during our journey.  

Although I credit my spouse for the success of the organization in the last few years, and do not believe I've had a big part to play in this, she disagrees with me. She believes that it's our team that realize these events. My inputs at the planning and preparation stages, apparently are crucial to the way the event shapes us. My availability to execute the plans and manage the logistics around the day of the event also contribute to lesser stress for her, as she can concentrate on her tasks, apart from taking care of the guest artistes, who are in town for performing at our event.

This experience, that I involuntarily became a part of, while just trying to “be there” for my spouse when she needed the support, has taught me a big lesson in life. Although I nurture an unrealized dream of running a successful startup someday, in reality, it's heartening to know that I have already contributed, in a small way, to the success of a startup. Now, I truly believe in the power of the 'Zero'. I feel like I am the 'Zero' who would have never known my worth had I not teamed up with my 'One' to make the 'Ten' that we truly are as a team, owing to the success that we've had in the last few years.
 

I just wish that this story inspires the hundreds of 'Zeros' out there, to go out and find their 'One' and make it happen. No, you're not worthless. You have the Power; the power to script a success story. 

Go on, prove it to the big, bad world which conspires to convince you that you're not good enough. Look straight into the eyes of those who doubt your power and ask them to “Buzz Off!”

It's your life: Make it count

Most of us may have come across the phrase, “Winners don't quit”, and the world around us continues to glorify this phrase by reinforcing its relevance by popularising success stories of some great individuals who with their sheer grit, determination and perseverance, overcame hurdles and roadblocks to shape their destiny. In the frenzy for turning these successful people into demi-gods, who one should follow (even 'ape', if I may take the liberty to say so), we may be overlooking those instances and situations that may have come in their lives, where they actually decided to quit. 

Quitting is not always bad, don't you think? If you ask any seasoned player in the stock market, I'm sure they'll say, however aggressive a strategist you may be, it's imperative that you know when to exit, especially when you're dealing with a volatile market. I'm sure my friends working in the corporate sector are too familiar with the “grind” they go through everyday of their work-lives. The stress, the competition and the need to fit in; we're all aware that these necessary evils take a toll on our health and our families, but we don't seem to know where the exit is. Life has indeed become a constant race, where we're either competing with the others at the workplace always trying to prove that we're better or constantly trying to outperform ourselves. I'm sure a lot of us think that competition is good; as it brings out the best in us, as well as it is a necessity for overall progress and development. Well, although you cannot disagree with that argument, one should know where to draw the line; how much is enough? Too much of anything is bad, isn't it? 

Cut to my story...it was the summer of 2010. I must say, I had it all going well for me. A loving and supportive family, a well-paying IT job in the US, a couple more years left on my work visa, a challenging work assignment where I was doing quite well too. So when my wife and I decided to cut short our 3-year stint in America and return to India, quite a few of my friends thought I was out of my mind, or I was having some personal/family issues back home that I needed to address. Who else would take the outrageous decision of throwing away everything that so many in the IT industry only dream of achieving in a brief career. Some probably even thought I had hit upon a jackpot idea and that the entrepreneurial bug had bitten me and was going back to India to start a new venture. Well, to be honest, how I wish that was true! 

The decision to move back to Mangaluru was not at all impulsive, to say the least. Yes, we eventually wanted to settle down in our hometown, perhaps closer to retirement. The image of the city was still that of a retirement haven. Mangaluru was no longer the sleepy hamlet that we grew up in. Even though the city had grown phenomenally over the last decade or so, as one would have expected, IT companies had not taken a particular liking for the city, even though there are about 18 engineering colleges in the city and around. I believe that the engineers from the district themselves want to go to bigger cities like Bengaluru, Chennai and Pune for better opportunities; perhaps to live the “big-city” life. With the exception of Infosys, no other IT major has significant footprint in the city, although there are some other companies who have offices here, but nothing worth a mention. 

So what was the motivation for me and my family to leave a flourishing career in America and come back to Mangaluru? Well, being a project manager, I decided to run a Cost-benefit analysis. As a family, we had to consider the cost of this decision as well as evaluate the benefits, if any. 

Things we needed to consider at the time: 

What would I do in a city like Mangaluru, especially with the limited career opportunities for a mid-level project manager? If I were to look for a job in another company, I would have had to start afresh; no recommendations, no head-start. Fortunately for me at the time, the company that I was working for, in the US, had a branch in Mangaluru although there weren't as many challenging projects. But it was alright; I just needed a float right then. Must say, I was lucky to find an opportunity. 

My wife is a trained Bharatanatyam performer, who had taken a break after we had our son in 2008. In 2010, she was looking to resume her dance practice and was looking to transform her pastime into a full-time career. Starting her dance career in the US did not seem like a good option especially because I was on a work visa, which was due to expire in 2012. Starting a career in Bharatanatyam in India made more sense then. 

Our son was two-and-a-half years old and would have been ready to start his playgroup (pre-kindergarten) in six months. We never wanted to start his schooling in the US and move to India when he's older. Adjusting to the different environments, different schools, losing friends takes a toll on our kids; something most parents do not realise when they make career decisions that takes them from place to place in search of greener pastures. Having been at the receiving end myself when I was a student, my father who was a banker would get transferred every few years, I had to adjust to new schools, new friends and new languages myself, I could empathise with all the kids who go through this for no fault of theirs. Never did we want to put our dear son through that ordeal. Also, with both my parents and parents-in-law living in Mangaluru, made it an easier decision to make; there's nothing like growing up with your grandparents around. More of a luxury these days when most families are going nuclear.

With all the above benefits enticing me to take the plunge, it was now time to evaluate the cost I was going to have to pay for the above. 

One of the biggest disadvantages of being in a limited opportunity market like Mangaluru (for IT services), however good you may be at your job, you can only grow so much in terms of your role within the organisation. I experienced that in January 2013 – a couple of years after I returned to India. As there were very few opportunities for my skill-set and experience in the company that I worked for, in order for me to continue working for them, I had to take up assignments in another city or resign. At that stage, I decided that staying in Mangaluru was more important for the stability we sought, especially with my wife establishing an organisation for promoting Indian classical arts. She was doing quite well for herself and was beginning to get noticed across the art circles. Another relocation at that stage would have been disastrous for her career, and we decided against it. Finally, by June 2013, I had perhaps become a liability for my employer and I decided to call it quits. 

For someone, who had always been a front-runner in school, in college as well as the companies I had earlier worked for, someone who had not seen many failures in life, it was a moment of experiencing the 'naked truth'. I guess, these moments truly test your mettle; they test your faith, your grit and above all your support system. Fortunately, for me, things fell in place pretty quickly, and I found myself become a part of a not-so-big but promising young company and have been enjoying my stint there, since then. 

Come to think of it, had I chosen to stay in the US, I would have definitely made more money, my career may well have flourished, but we can't be sure about these things, can we? My wife would have resumed her dance career there, but since we never wanted to permanently migrate to the US, we would have returned to India some day, and most of the work she would have put in until then, would have been wasted. Adjustment to the new environment for our son would have been difficult for sure, depending on the duration of our stay there. Quite a lot to “pay”, don't you think? 

In a patriarchal society like ours, why is it that we expect the wife and children to make all the sacrifices to propel the man's career, time and again? Haven't we seen, among our very own friends, that the man decides to take up a fancy new high-paying job in a different city/country and the wife quits her job (in spite of her loving that job and being quite good at it) to tag along with the husband. Our conditioning is so strong that the wife does not even feel that she is sacrificing her career; she only feels that she is doing what's best for the family. 

Well, I just did the same. My cost-benefit analysis said that, for my family, relocating was too much of a cost for the potential benefit of the opportunities that would be available to me as an IT professional but at the cost of my wife's success in something that she is so passionate about. I know I may have shortchanged myself in the bargain, but that's what families are, I believe. We back each other and help one another grow and succeed. Believe me, the success is even sweeter when you know that your little contribution was key to your spouse's success. For my married (male) friends, if you don't believe me, please ask your wives and they will tell you what that feels like. If you're still single, go ask your mother how she felt when your father succeeded in his career. 

 Have to admit, our job is an important part of our lives as we spend about a quarter of our productive years, at work. However, in the pursuit of outperforming ourselves, most of us go overboard, often experiencing the proverbial “burn-out” at a very early stage in our lives. Lifestyle-related disorders seem to be have become a trend of sorts. Why do we disregard our health in the pursuit of wealth, position and success? Does the so-called success bring happiness along? If being happy and content is our goal in life, can't little things that make us smile, like playing with our children, pampering our spouses by helping them around the house, making our parents even more proud of us just by being their companion once in a while, make us happy? 

Whoosh...! Was that your life breezing past, while you were busy slogging on that critical project? Hold it! Time to pause your life, redefine your priorities, take control of your life and get ready to... be happy!